


The Anderson-Hummel Kids: Parents of the Year (aka don’t let your dads get wine drunk with Aunt Rachel)

by InsightfulInsomniac



Series: dads!Klaine (aka the Adventures of the Anderson-Hummels and Co.) [27]
Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, M/M, alcohol tw, and drunk!rachel, but it’s all safe and in good fun, dads!Klaine, drunk!klaine, klaine kids!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel are left to their own devices for a night in, and they proceed to get very wine-drunk. Cue Kurt and Blaine’s kids coming home and finding their dads and their aunt in quite a state, and they suddenly have to become the parents for a night.Fluff, humor, and some reminiscing. Also, the Klaine kids taking care of their very drunk and affectionate dads.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: dads!Klaine (aka the Adventures of the Anderson-Hummels and Co.) [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1364230
Comments: 18
Kudos: 102





	The Anderson-Hummel Kids: Parents of the Year (aka don’t let your dads get wine drunk with Aunt Rachel)

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came out of nowhere and I knew I just HAD to write it ASAP. Tw for alcohol, but it’s all in good fun and used in a safe setting. Also, the Klaine kids are all older teens/young adults here, so their parents were not being totally irresponsible regarding their kids.
> 
> It’s honestly just a really amusing time overall. Enjoy!
> 
> My Klaine kids:
> 
> 1\. Tracy  
> 2\. Audrey  
> 3 and 4. Finn and Dalton (twins)

“Heyyyy! Look at my beautiful children,” Blaine gushes, nudging Kurt none-too-gently. “Look at them! We made beautiful kids.”

“What the hell,” Tracy deadpans, and Finn sighs deeply, shaking his head.

“We love you all so much!” Kurt exclaims. “You make us so proud, and you’re just so good —“

Dalton locks the front door behind them with some difficulty, as Audrey is currently using him as support so she doesn’t fall over with the force of her laughter.

“And I helped!” Rachel screeches, raising the near-empty bottle of wine she’s holding. “Well, for two of you. But your Aunt Rachel loves you all the same!”

“Did you have a fun night?” Finn asks carefully, being the first to brave stepping into the living room. “How many bottles of wine did you have?”

“Oh, look, our kids are the _responsible_ ones now,” Blaine jokes, and the two others laugh. “It’s like they caught us doing something _wroooong_.”

“I don’t even know,” Rachel answers slowly as she considers the wine bottle in her hand. “But I — I know — this one’s my favorite!”

“Hey, which one of us is your favorite?” Audrey questions cheekily, and Kurt gestures at her wildly.

“That’s a trick question! Don’t answer it, babe!”

Blaine just waves him off. “I saw that comin’ from a mile away. My favorite is all of you, because dads can say that.”

Rachel nods emphatically. “Parenting 101!”

Tracy, meanwhile, is gathering the empty bottles of wine and plates of random food from around the three, carefully piling them up. “Oh my god, how much did you drink?”

“We don’t drink a lot!” Kurt clarifies. “We barely ever drink!”

Dalton snorts. “But when you do, you go hard, apparently.”

Blaine points at his son in profound agreement. “That’s right! Live while we’re young.”

“I feel like I’m twenty again!” Rachel squeals. “Someone play some music, I need to sing.”

“Oh god, no, it’s like eleven pm,” Finn warns, but Rachel’s already wobbling to the center of the room, the wine bottle in her hand now becoming her microphone.

“I’m the greaaaaaaaatest star,” she sings, drawn out and way too loud, but scarily on-key for how drunk she is.

The kids watch in horrified amusement as she pauses, evidently thinking over her words. “I think I forget. Oh my god, I’m forgetting _Funny Girl_!”

“Aunt Rachel, I think it’d be best if you sat down,” Tracy suggests, but Rachel just uses her outstretched hand to step up onto the coffee table.

“Don’t tell me not live, just sit and putter —“

“Boo, sing another song! You’ve performed that twice tonight,” Kurt yells, but Rachel just takes that in stride, shooting him a dirty look.

“Fine,” she huffs, and Dalton steps behind her just in case her legs give out with the way they’re shaking. “Any requests?”

“Can you rap, Aunt Rachel?” Audrey goads, and Rachel lights up, launching into her favorite _Hamilton_ song.

“I remember that night I just might regret that night for the rest of my days...”

“Hi, Uncle Jesse,” Tracy greets over the phone. “I don’t know how you were expecting Aunt Rachel to get home tonight — she said she would come home on her own? Yeah, I can’t really see that happening.”

“Dalton, come here,” Kurt instructs, and Dalton grins as his father pulls him down to sit between him and Blaine. “You know, Alexander Hamilton was probably bi.”

“I do know that, yes,” Dalton nods, fighting back a laugh at how serious his dad is.

“So he’s like your ancestor, in a way,” he reasons, and Blaine hums in agreement. “Because he’s bi, and you’re bi.”

“I don’t think that’s how ancestry really works, Dad,” Dalton says, but Blaine interrupts him.

“Ooh! If only he was pan, then he could be your pan-cestor, Audrey!”

“To your UNIOOOOOOON!” Rachel cries, having skipped most of the song to get to her favorite part — where she can show off her belt. “To the hope that you proviiiiide...”

“Thanks, Uncle Jess. We’ll see you soon,” Tracy hangs up the call, looking tiredly out her aunt belting _Hamilton_ from atop their coffee table and her dads making each other laugh hysterically with increasingly bad puns about queer history.

“I think I need a drink,” she comments to Finn, who merely shakes his head in disbelief.

“What did they do when they got like this before they had adult kids to take care of them?”

“Oh, Rachel would fall asleep in our bed and we’d fool around on the couch until we passed out,” Kurt supplies drunkenly, having somehow overheard them. 

“Lovely,” Dalton remarks, extracting himself from between his dads.

“Sam fell asleep in our bathtub once,” Blaine laughs at the memory. “That was like, before we had kids.”

“Your — your dads are handsy drunks,” Rachel giggles, looking to get off the table. Audrey immediately swoops in to steady her as she steps down, patting her niece’s cheek in thanks. “Your Uncle Sam’s actually a pretty quiet drunk, but like, that’s chill, and I’m not.”

“We can see that,” Dalton quips, amused.

“Oh, god, the most embarrassing moment of my life,” Rachel begins, groaning dramatically as she drops herself between Kurt and Blaine on the couch. “It was so bad, you know, when I — you remember, Burt and Carole’s?”

“Honey, that can’t be your most embarrassing moment,” Kurt insists. 

“It was,” Rachel moans. “I got so champagne drunk in front of your parents.”

“Burt and Carole?” Blaine interjects. “Nah, they’re so cool, like, they didn’t care.”

“Remind me to ask about this story the next time we see Gramps and Nana,” Dalton mutters to Audrey.

“Rachel, you gotta move,” Blaine whines suddenly, trying to scoot behind her. “I haven’t touched Kurt in, like, _fifteen bazillion_ minutes.”

“Get your own Kurt,” Rachel retorts, laughing as she splays herself across Kurt, blocking him from his husband.

“I will pick you up, Rachel, he’s my... my husband,” Blaine threatens weakly, grabbing her around the leg and trying to pull her off. 

Rachel just laughs louder and clings tightly to Kurt, who throws his head back against the couch exasperatedly. “Rachel, let me have him, _pleeeease_...”

“Okay, okay,” Finn interrupts, gently prying Blaine off of Rachel and Rachel off of Kurt. “Before someone gets hurt.”

Rachel pouts as Finn coaxes her off the couch and onto a nearby chair. “Aunt Rachel, Uncle Jesse will be here any minute. Do you have anything you need us to get for you?”

She gazes up at him with hopeful eyes. “More wine?”

“How about some water?” He offers. “I’ll get you some.”

“Oh, god, I haven’t been this drunk in forever,” Kurt remarks bluntly, Blaine now happily enswathed in his arms. “Why did we do this? I don’t even like being drunk that much.”

“You don’t like the tingly feeling?” Blaine grins. “You don’t feel it?”

“Why,” Dalton laments, resting his head on Audrey’s shoulder. “I want to leave, but I feel like they need supervision.”

“Mm, show me,” Kurt smirks, leaning down close to Blaine’s face.

“But the kids can see,” he murmurs, obviously teasing, but Kurt suddenly looks out at the rest of the room, totally serious.

“I am now going to kiss your father,” he announces, deadpan. “If you don’t wanna see, look away.”

Rachel claps enthusiastically as Kurt returns his attention to Blaine, finally closing the distance between them. Dalton groans as Audrey wolf-whistles, and suddenly, there’s a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Tracy remarks, opening the door to let Jesse in, who raises his eyebrows knowingly as soon as he sees Tracy.

“Let me guess, Rachel convinced your dads to break out the alcohol?”

“Bingo,” she grins. “You can guess how the rest went.”

“Jesse! Baby!” Rachel exclaims, struggling to get out of her chair quickly. “Oh my god, I am _so_ happy to see you, I missed you so much!”

Jesse laughs slightly as he wraps an arm around her waist to steady her. “I can see that. How do you feel about heading home?”

“I wanna stay here forever,” she sighs, then gasps suddenly. “But my babies! I need to see my babies, to tell them how much I love them —“

“Okay, Rach. You can do that when we get home. I’m sure Brice and Carmen would love to hear that,” he chuckles. “They were pretty amused when I told them why I had to pick you up.”

“I love my kids,” she says, clinging to Jesse. “I love my kids so much.”

When she starts to get sniffly and weepy against Jesse’s chest, he directs her towards the door. “Let’s go see them, darling. Thank you for looking after her, and good luck,” he nods in the direction of Kurt and Blaine, who are still entwined on the couch, though no longer making out.

“I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLL,” Rachel shouts, blowing sloppy kisses at all of her nieces and nephews.

“Love you too, Aunt Rachel,” the kids chorus, and Kurt and Blaine glance up from each other to wave in her direction.

“Bye honey, we love you,” Kurt calls, Blaine hanging off of him.

“We love you too, Jess,” Blaine adds, beaming. “Tell your kids we love them too!”

“Okay, dads, let’s get you to bed,” Audrey suggests as Jesse helps Rachel out the door. “You two are going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow morning.”

“Worth it,” Blaine laughs loudly, Kurt following him in his own fit of giggles.

Audrey sighs, pulling them up off the couch, Dalton immediately coming to assist.

“Wait, wait,” Kurt orders. “Come here, all of you.”

The four kids share a look, gathering in front of their parents.

He sighs, leaning heavily into Blaine, who leans right back. “We love you all so much. We’re so proud of all of you.”

“Dad,” Tracy says, but he shushes her gently.

“No, no, lemme just —“ Kurt leans in and grasps her face, kissing her forehead wetly. “I love you.”

He moves into Finn, who’s next in their makeshift line, grabbing his face and planting an identical kiss to his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he repeats the process with Audrey, and then again with Dalton. “I love you.”

Blaine grins, following up by giving each of them a fumbling hug. “You’re the best kids in the world. I agree with everything Dad said.”

“Go to bed, you old saps,” Dalton jokes fondly. “Sleep it off. We’ll bring in water and aspirin.”

Kurt giggles. “Don’t come in soon, ‘cause I’m not tired and your pops and I have not _fooled around_ yet.”

“God, no, leave,” Audrey groans, not without a smile. “But for the record, we love you both too.”

Blaine beams, wrapping his arms around his husband. “We made the best kids, Kurt. The best.”

Kurt raises his eyebrows, smirking. “Let’s go make some more.”

“I hate to inform you, but that’s not exactly how that works,” Finn remarks, and Blaine just laughs.

“It’s the thought that counts!”

Tracy sighs, grinning nonetheless. “I never thought we’d be the ones locking up the liquor cabinet.”

“Or cleaning up after our parents’ wild night,” Dalton adds, throwing out a random napkin strewn on the floor.

A loud thump sounds from their parents’ room, followed by a crash.

“Should we... check on them?” Finn asks slowly.

“Just wait a minute and listen for voices,” Audrey suggests. “If they’re quiet for too long, we go in, and I do not volunteer as tribute.”

The four kids go silent, listening carefully for a moment. A loud peal of giggles erupts from the bedroom, and that’s the cue for the kids to vacate the area.

“We’ll rip into them in the morning,” Tracy comments, sharing a smile with her siblings. “They’re never going to live this down.”

“Damn, I wish I took videos!” Audrey complains. “Or pictures at the very least.”

“Don’t worry, it’s burned into my brain,” Dalton laments. “Forever.”

“We’ll make them check their phones tomorrow,” Finn suggests. “I’m sure they’ll have something. Them or Aunt Rachel.”

“Oh my god, I need to text Brice,” Dalton laughs. 

“I’m going to bed,” Tracy announces. “I’ve had too much parenting for one night.”

“Good night, fellow parents,” Finn calls. “I’ll take the unfavorable job of delivering water and aspirin once they pass out.”

“I nominate Finn Anderson-Hummel for parent of the year!” Dalton cheers, Tracy and Audrey clapping along with him.

“Thank you, thank you,” he bows comically. “I will accept my award in the morning.”

“We’ll convince dads to present it to you themselves,” Audrey replies. “It’ll be a whole event.”

“I’ll wear my best suit,” he grins. 

“Please tell me we can actually do this,” Dalton laughs.

“I’ll make a certificate and print it out tonight,” Tracy volunteers. “And we’ll get pictures in the morning.”

“They’ll be so hungover, oh my god,” Audrey comments. “This is the best thing we’ve ever done.”

Finn grins. “We’re not just the best parents, we’re also the best children.”

**Author's Note:**

> As someone who is literally in school for history (specifically social history/gender and sexuality studies), I have done extensive research on Hamilton (and John Laurens) and all that entails... so like, I couldn’t resist putting in my academic passions! I may or may not be working on an actual historical research book surrounding them and sexuality in the eighteenth century, fun fact.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your continued support! Your kudos and comments make my day every time; I am so happy to read your reactions to my fics! I am so blessed to have such wonderful readers :)
> 
> Much love and stay safe!
> 
> Find me on Instagram: @insightful.insomniac
> 
> Find me on tumblr: @zigxzag-klaine


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